how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
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found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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