I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize