it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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