you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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