Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize