I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize