Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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