I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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