I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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