garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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