Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize