I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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