Kiss
Puke
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize