i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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