I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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