O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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