The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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