i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize