I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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