Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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