why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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