im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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