i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
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How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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