dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize