it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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