I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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