I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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