chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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