I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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