google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
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Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
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Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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