life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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