lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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