I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
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The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
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Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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