Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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