i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize