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I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
A+ Viking dick
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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