Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize