I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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