then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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