i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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