My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize