if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
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I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
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Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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