they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize