One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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