u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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