EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize