i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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