I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize