After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize