Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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